Valentine a’la Mode

by Vanity Kills

beauty picks just in time for Valentine’s Day

Lime Crime Magic Dust and Glitter

To some, Valentine’s Day is synonymous with single people everywhere ranting on their blogs about the invalidity of the holiday.  These disgruntled bloggers argue that it was invented by greedy greeting card companies as a ploy to sell the holiday’s related goods.  I prefer to focus on the bloody origins of the celebration by pointing out that the whole shebang ALLEGEDLY started when a priest named Valentine wedded young couples against Emperor Claudius II’s will.  Claudius II believed that unmarried men made better soldiers and in his rage, had Valentine beheaded.  Take the wimpiness out of out of February 14th by stocking your vanity with darkly decadent must-haves then wipe the floor with sappy pastels and that drugstore perfume your brother gifted you with out of pity.  Let this Hallmark holiday be filled with bold, in-your-face sanguine inspired shades and luscious olfactory delights.  Leave the self loathing and pining over the ex to the unfashionable.

Magic Dust and GlitterLime Crime
available at . $12 each
Do you long for show-stopping eyes that induces a cardiac arrest in every man that crosses your path?  If so, then gently pat some loose, true red pigment, such as Lime Crime Magic Dust in Siren across your entire eyelid from lash-line to crease using a brush with a rounded/tapered edge (239 eye shading brush by MAC is always a good choice).  For a double shot of daring, apply a healthy layer of Lime Crime Transilvania Glitter over the red pigment.  Talk about a to- die-for gaze!

Deep Blood Red MascaraBloody Mary
available at . $10
Slightly squeamish about renting all your eyelid real estate to such a loud shade?  Flirt with red without fully committing to the whole over-the-top shadow experience by sprucing up your lashes with two coats of blood red mascara.  Try Deep Blood Red Mascara by Bloody Mary.

Lipstick in Russian RedMAC
available at . $14
Terminally dateless?  Pour out your sorrows to your Robert Smith poster as you curl up in bed with a nice glass of red wine accompanied by The Cure’s Disintegration playing in the background.  Even if your only make out partner is none other than the 24×36 inch image of Mr. Smith that hangs on the wall, you’ll still want to leave only the most exquisite crimson lip imprints.  This means that nothing other than MAC Lipstick in Russian Red will do.

Valentine’s Day ManicureSally Hansen and Sephora
available at and
Just because Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday this year shouldn’t stop your fingers from feeling festive Monday through Friday.  What’s this I hear?  You’re bound by the chains of corporate slavery you say?  Slightly bend the rules of business casual without overtly offending dress code by sprucing up your basic office lady French manicure.  Start off with your usual pre-manicure prep work, such as soaking your hands in warm water for 5 minutes, removing any traces of prior excess nail color with nail polish remover, and filing your nails into an oval shape.  Never forget to apply a base coat. This extends the life of your chosen color.  Sally Hansen Double Duty Strengthening Base & Top Coat never fails to please.  Now for the fun stuff!  Apply two coats of a rich red shade, such as Sephora by OPI Nail Colour in Personal Shopper.  Following your color coat, paint a half moon shape on the tips using a black glitter-infused nail polish.  Sephora by OPI Nail Colour in Never Enough Shoes will do the job exquisitely. Fix any blunders and color spills with the help of a nail polish remover pen such as Sephora Brand Nail Polish Corrector Pen.  Finish off by applying a layer of topcoat to ensure that all your hard work doesn’t start chipping by day two.  Lastly, make no apologies for your gutsy style choices.  The natural look and safe neutrals are for the weak!

Flavored Body Powder in MarshmallowUrban Decay
available at . $26
Dinner date?  Take a cue from Front 242’s played out hit “Headhunter”. “One – you lock the target, two – you bait the line, three – you slowly spread the net, and four – you catch the Man” Do the baiting by dusting your neck, bare shoulders, and any other place you’d like him to take a bite out of with Urban Decay Flavored Body Powder in Marshmallow.  The shimmer will catch his eye, the yummy scent will draw him in closer, and when you divulge the information that the powder indeed tastes just like marshmallows, there will be sampling involved.  This delightful lure also comes with an adorable leopard print puff.

Conversation Hearts CologneDemeter Fragrance Library
available at . $20
Conversely, some things that are actually deemed fit for human consumption should never be literally ingested.  I firmly believe that the risks of wolfing down some Valentine’s Day candy greatly outweigh the benefits.  I really wonder about some of this stuff!  For example, I don’t actually know anyone who enjoys the taste of conversation hearts.  Most people feel that they  taste faintly reminiscent of chalk and aren’t overly enthused to receive them as a token of affection.  That’s why some confections are best administered in a spray form.  Enter Demeter Fragrance Library and savor sweet aromas without the ashen aftertaste! These perfumers captured the essence of the popular Valentine’s Day icon and bottled it up with flirty scents, such as Be My Valentine, which contains notes of peach skin, strawberry leaf, caramelized sugar, and ylang-ylang; Call Me  leaves you smelling like lemon zest, jasmine, honeysuckle, water lotus, and white rose; Love Me is a bouquet of orange, lemon, bergamot, peach, white rose, ylang ylang, subtle skin musk, and soft vanilla.  I guarantee that it’s a tenfold more appealing to your boyfriend than the real thing.

Chocolate Scented Shower Gel TrioPhilosophy
available at . $30
Alas, who needs to wait around until some boy decides that we’re special enough to be given a box of chocolates?  Treat the most important person in your life (yourself!) with a sinfully sweet chocolate scented shower gel trio by Philosophy.  It doubles as a shower gel and shampoo and comes in three mouth-watering aromas: white chocolate, milk chocolate, and dark chocolate.

If that doesn’t get you in the V-Day spirit then rent some low budget horror flicks from the 80s and watch young couples get slaughtered in the midst of a makeout session.  Getting sloshed on some chocolate martinis is a fine accompaniment because if you still get depressed this time of year, nothing says holiday cheer like a combo of vodka, chocolate, and gory movies!

from the February Issue of Auxiliary Magazine

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