The New Rules of Attraction
written by Arden Leigh
In December 2011, when Auxiliary contributor Arden Leigh’s first book The New Rules of Attraction came out, I picked it up right away. I however didn’t read it for a few months. I wanted to read it but also it wasn’t a top priority on my large book shelve of things to read, as I am not in a position in my life to need advice on dating and getting into a new romantic relationship. Having now read the book I realize, this isn’t just a book about seducing new romantic partners, it is so much more. Arden doesn’t just offer a guide to seduction, she offers a guide to life.
New Rules starts off with tips on polishing your persona and appearance. As a person who believes in beauty in one’s life and the value of shaping one’s appearance and style to fit their aesthetic, this chapter spoke true to me. Next she moves on to building a good social status, and taking concern and an active role in how those in your scene and social circles perceive you. Next she lays out the steps to attracting people to yourself. Then she gives advice on taking that attraction and turning it into emotional connections. The last part of New Rules gives tips on how to manage and maintain your relationship once you get there. Then lastly, she offers insight on viewing seduction as a generous and life improving act rather than a manipulative and hurtful act. She states her code of ethics and that if we are hurtful and selfish in our seductions in life, we will get results that reflect our carelessness. She advises that all people have strategies for getting what they want, whether they are conscious of it or not, and that if we choose to actively think about them, we can improve their effectiveness. Throughout the book, I felt Arden was reinforcing the things many of us already know to be true, putting them into words, and telling you the things you need to hear, that we often forget. Things that seem so simple but when stated out loud you realize might have gotten lost in the messiness of living life.
I really valued the information in this book. I feel most anyone could gain something from it too. This book teaches you how to seduce beyond the dating world, it offers advice on seducing new friends to add value and excitement to your life, it offers advice on seducing new clients and fans, it offers advice on bringing to you the people you need and want in your life. The tactics in this book have many applications. New Rules is told from a viewpoint that those in the fetish scene, a subculture, or any way of life or thought that doesn’t fit perfectly into the mainstream, will really enjoy. There were tons of great stories on Arden’s time as a professional dominatrix that I am very excited and hopeful she releases the book on her life story as a pro-domme in NYC that she promises in the book.
for more from Arden Leigh check out her advice column Ask Arden in an issue of Auxiliary Magazine