Valentine’s Day, some hate it, some love it. Today we have a special online edition of “Ask Arden”, our new advice column where Arden Leigh, today’s freshest voice on women’s dating and relationship strategies, answers your questions. Bringing together her experience in neuro-linguistic programming, brand marketing, psychology, pick-up artistry, and the fetish industry, she coaches women on developing a proactive approach to achieving their romantic goals.
Q : I hate Valentine’s Day. There’s so much pressure! What can I do to make sure that we both have a good time without unrealistic expectations?
A : I would say that if you pay attention to the clues your partner unwittingly gives you, you should know what kind of things will make them happy on Valentine’s Day, but the truth is that if you pay attention to those clues you should know what kind of things will make them happy every day. People are fairly easy to read once you learn to pick up on the signals they drop. Figuring out what to do for Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be all that different from figuring out what to do on any other day of the year. The only difference is you have an excuse to live it up a little more.
There’s no reason to hold yourselves to the standard of Valentine’s Day set forth by the greeting card companies, chocolatiers, and pricey restaurants offering prix-fixe dinners with champagne toasts (i.e., all those who stand to make a profit from it), but that doesn’t mean you should miss out on a day set aside to celebrate couple-hood. Being part of a couple is fun and if it weren’t you wouldn’t choose to do it. So why not celebrate a little?
Tailor your Valentine’s Day experience to the kinds of things you and your partner enjoy. Perhaps instead of a dinner with roses on the table, it’s a sporting event, or a movie you both want to see. If you choose to buy a gift, it doesn’t have to conform to the standard V-Day. I bought one of my first boyfriends a CD alarm clock for Valentine’s Day so we didn’t have to wake up to a staticky radio station (though he did then insist on waking up every morning to Alice Cooper’s “Poison”, a great song but not one I necessarily want to hear before noon).
Whatever you do, make sure it’s personalized to the things you know you will both enjoy, and you’ll be guaranteed to have a good time.
Read the new column in the February/March 2011 Issue.
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