My boyfriend and I have been together for the past four years. We constantly declare our love for each other and while he does occasionally compliment me, he’s got the worst case of the wandering eye ever. Whenever we go out, he ogles these cheap looking Paris Hilton look alikes. I try not to let it bother me, but I can’t help it. When he looks at girls that look so different from me, I secretly freak out that given the chance he’d dump me for a bleach-blonde tanned bimbo. How do I deal? Is it him or me? Help!
Sincerely, Dakota [Pittsburgh, PA]
While this behavior from your boyfriend might be annoying, you have to realize that he isn’t blind, or dead (yet), and he will notice other girls. But it is one thing to look and another thing to actually go about trying to get with them. From what you tell me, you both seem very committed to one another and truly love each other. So I would guess he isn’t about to go after these girls instead of being with you. If he were that type of guy then he probably would have done that a long time ago. I wouldn’t look at it as being a problem so don’t make it a problem.
I recently met a guy on a social networking site. Judging by his pics, he’s the hottest man on earth right after Trent Reznor. I think he digs me too, or so I’ve been told. So what’s the problem? Well… I hate to admit it, but what he’s seen of me online doesn’t necessarily show the real me. Yes, I couldn’t resist the infamous angle shot. My online photos make me look about 50-75 pounds slimmer than I am in real life. He never mentioned being attracted to BBWs, so I am majorly freaking out about him being unattracted to the real me. All 280 pounds! We’re supposed to meet up on St. Paddy’s Day and he’s driving all the way from Philly to meet me. I’m hoping that after an eight hour drive he won’t take one good look at me, hop back in the car, and curse me out for not telling him my online pics are somewhat deceptive. I’m a nervous wreck. What do I do?
“Vampira Von DeVille” [Eden, NY]
Dear Vampira Von DeVille,
First of all, there must be reasons other than your looks that are making this man want to drive eight hours to meet you. Have more confidence in yourself as a person; likable for who they are. I’m sure that since he has found you attractive by the photos he has seen, you are indeed a very attractive woman, regardless of your weight. The best thing to do if you are so worried about how he will react is to send him another more realistic photo of you before he drives up. Then if he still comes to visit you, you know he really does like you for your whole package.
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from the February Issue of Auxiliary Magazine